


Sorry, Wrong Number

by yuma (yuma_writes)



Category: Real World - Fandom, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-07 03:12:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10351071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuma_writes/pseuds/yuma
Summary: Written by Yum@ (Ideas provided by Janet, David, and Gary)A Stargate and Real World crossoverOops! I think the WRONG address was dialed this time...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Sorry, Wrong Number

When Jack had stepped through the Stargate, he was expected the usual- trees, trees, and more trees. So when his vision cleared and he blinked the last of the wormhole's effects away, he nearly took a step back in surprise. 

"It's dark in here!" Daniel complained as he bumped into Teal'c. The Jaafa just silently picked Daniel up again without any comment. 

"I don't see anything, sir." Carter said as she swung her flashlight around again. The high beam couldn't get through the murky darkness. 

"The probe was sending okay data, Jack." Daniel said as he felt his way around the darkness. His hands found...something. "I think I found the probe...oops!" At Carter's outraged yelp, Daniel corrected, "Then again, maybe not." 

"Watch the hands, Daniel." Jack said, not bothering to move and add to the stumbling chaos. "Find the DHD and just dial us home." 

"Already?" Daniel protested. "We've hadn't had a chance to-" 

"Daniel." 

"Yes, Jack?" 

"What do you see?" Jack asked mildly. 

"Um...nothing." 

"Dial us home." Jack's voice brooked no argument. 

Daniel rolled his eyes upward, thankful for once that it was too dark for Jack to see. He made his way around, swinging his arms in the air until he found the DHD device. 

Actually, the DHD found him. Daniel's foot rammed into it. 

With a yelp, Daniel winced and tried to ignore his throbbing toe as his fingers felt its way to the familiar position of the chevrons. Carter, by Daniel's voice, shone the flashlight so he could see. The cover stone was below him and Daniel quickly figured the seventh symbol out. With a practiced hand, Daniel pressed the buttons, one by one until the Stargate lighted. 

After the column of light gushed out and then settled, Jack slipped in and then Carter. Teal'c waited patiently for Daniel to stumble his way back again. As Daniel finally reached the Stargate, the wormhole disengaged abruptly. 

"What-" Daniel started. "Okay, let's not panic..." 

"I was not panicking, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c spoke up quite stiffly. 

"Well, neither am I." Daniel groaned. Now he had to find his way back again and- 

With a flicker, the Stargate snapped back on. Without a gush of light thankfully, otherwise they would have been disintegrated. 

"Uh..." Daniel murmured. "That never happened before. Power outage?" 

"Perhaps." Teal'c just said. He waited a moment and judged the Stargate as stable. He reached forward and pulled Daniel closer so they were visible to each other. Without a backward glance, _(why should they? there was nothing to see...)_ , the two stepped through. 

* * *

Jack stumbled onto the ramp. He was surprised at the velocity the wormhole had sent them through. He was usually quick to balance as soon as he was through. It was almost as if the Stargate...spit him out. As he steadied himself, he felt the Stargate...flicker. 

"What?" Carter said as an alarm went out suddenly. 

"Where's Daniel?" Jack demanded when he realized that Daniel and Teal'c were not around. 

"I-I" Carter didn't even have time to make a theory when the Stargate flickered back on again. Jack yelped, shoved Carter to the ramp and hoped the column of light wouldn't disintegrate them. 

It didn't. The Stargate just...blinked. 

Jack looked up and saw Daniel and Teal'c standing there with their mouths slightly opened. Yes...even Teal'c. It was so comical that Jack had almost forgotten about the weird incident, but Carter didn't. 

"You guys okay?" 

"S-sure." Daniel murmured as he blinked furiously. The frost melted and dripped down his lens, but he didn't bother to try and wipe them off. 

"Daniel, Teal'c get to the infirmary." Jack ordered as he exchanged a worried look with Carter. The two soldiers proceeded down the ramp and then realize that the other two was standing there still. "Guys?" 

"C-coming." Daniel stuttered and blankly watched the two leave before he finally turned to Teal'c and said. "Christopher...I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." 

Luckily no one was in the embarkament room anymore or they would have been very surprised when Teal'c opened his mouth and said, "No shit." 

* * *

When the director had shouted action and the lights had suddenly flickered, Michael had wondered if they should just continue anyway. Resisting the urge to shrug his shoulders, he just stepped through the Stargate prop so the director could film him "coming" through and then the FX guys could magically make him emerge later. He was surprised to feel cold all of the sudden and he nearly yelped out loud if he hadn't remember that if he screwed this one up...it would mean another three hours before quitting time. As he stepped over what he judged would have been the Stargate ring, he felt very, very, very nauseous. Enough so that he closed his eyes briefly and opened them again to... 

"You guys okay?" the blond woman asked as she got up. The woman had been covered protectively by a tall slim built man. She got up and brushed dirt off her uniform. The man turned around and looked at them with narrowed eyes. 

Immediately, Michael knew it wasn't his co-actors Richard and Amanda. This man looked like him but his eyes were different. More...Jack. Michael managed a "S-sure." before taking a good look at the set...no...The **REAL** SGC. 

There were no cameras. That was the next thing Michael realized. The alarm that was ringing finally reached his ears and Michael almost winced at how...real it sounded. 

"Daniel, Teal'c get to the infirmary." Michael heard the man...Jack said as he turned around and proceeded down the ramp. When the ramp even sounded deeper and more like a heavy duty ramp like it might have been had it been real, Michael then knew and was floored by the fact that **THIS** was SGC. _Oh...shit. Quick choice to be made. Confess and be hauled away or....fake it?_ Heck, he's an actor, wasn't he? 

"Guys?" the colonel looked at Michael and narrowed his eyes again. Michael wondered how could one man look so much like the easy going person he knew and yet feel so...different right now. 

"C-coming." Michael managed to get his mouth to work what he hoped was an appropriate response. The two soldiers gave each other a weird look and left the room. 

The room was huge, filled with the props that Michael was so familiar with and yet now so startling real for him. 

It made him feel very intimidated. 

Michael then remembered Christopher, his friend and the one everyone here believed to be Teal'c- the alien warrior. Michael cast a look at his friend, relieved to see the same stunned look on his friend's face and knew that **THIS** wasn't a dream or that it really was Teal'c next to him. 

"Christopher...I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Michael murmured low enough for only Christopher to hear. 

His friend clamped his mouth shut. He was still trying to convince himself that somehow, Gekko Productions and MGM Studios had sprung for a bigger budget and done all of this elaborate stuff while he was getting ready for the scene. 

Fat chance. 

"No shit." was all Christopher could think of saying, a bit relieved that he didn't have to worry about censure ratings right now because that was a **TON** of words he wanted to say right now. 

"So what so we do now?" Michael hissed. 

"Getting off this ramp before the Stargate opens again...would be good." Christopher muttered and grabbed Michael none too forcefully to bring him down the ramp. He remembered filming "Prisoners". He didn't want to take the chance that what the writers had wrote about the Stargate vortex was true. 

"No, I mean what now, Chris?" Michael hissed but followed him down anyway. 

"They think...I mean, we're...not suppose to be here." 

"Pinch me." Christopher abruptly said. 

"What?" 

"Maybe this is all a dream or I had hit my head playing football and this is all a -ow!" Christopher glared at his friend. "I said pinch me, not take a chunk of my flesh off!" 

"Sorry." Michael paused as he stared at the huge bulkhead doors that opened. "Wow! They really are thick." 

"It's a military base. They would be thick." Christopher sighed. This was not the morning he was hoping for. "And I thought I had a long day ahead of me." 

"All the world's a stage..." Michael quoted as he rapped his knuckles against the walls. He stopped when some of the passing technicians looked at him funny. "Except...for here, Christopher." 

"Teal'c," Christopher hissed as he stopped at a corner. He glanced at a door, saw it said STORAGE and dragged Michael in. 

"What?" Michael then got it. "Oh yeah. Teal'c." He frowned as he saw the storage closet. "Geez, this place is bigger than what we have. We should tell props.." 

"Uh...we're suppose to go to the infirmary, Michael." 

"Y...yeah?" 

"Not a good idea." Christopher pointed at his stomach. Michael groaned. 

"Oh shit, you're right. Ah..." Michael grinned. "Maybe they wouldn't notice?" 

"As if our open mouths wide enough to let flies in didn't get us notice?" 

Christopher retorted. "I don't think so." 

"I do not think so." Michael corrected. "No contractions remember, Ch- Teal'c?" 

"Man," Christopher groaned. "I'd bad enough time trying to remember that. Great, now I gotta do it for real." 

"I had," Michael corrected. 

"I had." Christopher made a face. "Okay. You have a plan?" 

"Nope." Michael made a face. "I'm new to the sci-fi thing, remember? This is more like Star Trek or something. 

"I think I read this somewhere." Christopher sighed. 

"I think we should tell Rich- I mean, Jack O'Neill," Michael said abruptly. 

"I mean, we're not the enemy, right? We're just...lost." 

"Waaaaaaay lost." Christopher nodded. "In our series, your character and Richard's do have a bit of trust here." 

"Yeah!" Michael's eyes light up. "Yeah, like that scene in when I was addicted, uh, uh..." 

"Need." 

"Yeah. It was right here!" Michael pointed to the ground with a grin. "We did our scene right here." He seemed cheered at the thought of something a bit...familiar. 

"Okay, so we tell Jack O'Neill." Christopher agreed. "He's in the infirmary." 

The two looked at each other blankly. The infirmary, in their reality, was on the next floor. But if this was real, the infirmary could be anywhere. 

"Miles below the earth." Michael remembered how the SGC was **SUPPOSED** to be. 

"Let's get going." Christopher said. He paused, almost wishing to hear the director call "cut" but when he didn't, he sighed again and the two crept out of the Storage closet to begin their search. 

* * *

"What the hell's wrong with those lights- oh they're up again. Great, let's do this again in another hour, folks!" 

When the film board snapped in front of him and the director screamed cut, 

Daniel knew something was very wrong. 

Then he saw the cameras arranged around the corners of what slightly looked like the embarkament room. Daniel knew- 

"This is not our destination, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c commented stoically as he arched an eyebrow towards a props guy who was removing a staff weapon, just like Teal'c's away. "It looks a bit...similar." 

"We must have dialed something wrong." Daniel murmured a bit dismayed at all the people he saw milling about. "Where's Jack and Sam?" 

"Hey Michael! What are you doing? We have to go outside for the next scene!" 

A script was abruptly shoved into Daniel's hands and Daniel found himself being bustled down a wobbly ramp with Teal'c. The Jaafa tensed but realized there was danger to them and did nothing. 

That is until the makeup guy came over. 

Daniel sneezed as he got powdered. The makeup guy was muttering about Teal'c and was about to powder him when Daniel blurted out, "Uh no! Thanks, it's okay. We, um...oof! Achoo!" More powder. Daniel blinked furiously, trying to breathe when the guy finally left him alone. Teal'c had wisely done nothing, but the Jaafa couldn't stop himself from...snarling when he saw another man approach them. The man paused and decided that actors' temperament gave precedence to schedule updates and left them alone. 

Daniel looked at the script in his hands and vaguely saw the title 1969 on it. He wondered if this was another alternate reality thing again. If so, what was he being warned about this time? It certainty wasn't another Go'uald invasion. 

Daniel suddenly...felt an urge to laugh again. 

"Are you well, Daniel Jackson?" 

"No." Daniel shook his head in disbelief. "We have to dial back home, Teal'c. I-" Daniel turned around and suddenly realized how...short the Stargate was. "Oh." 

"The Stargate may not work." 

"No." Daniel murmured. He looked at the script and realized. "Oh my god, Teal'c. We're actors!" 

"I am Jaafa." 

"No, no. I mean, here. Now. They...think we're actors." Daniel looked at the name scrawled on his script. "Michael..Shanks?" Daniel scrunched up his face as he tried to remember the name. He glanced at Teal'c's. The Jaafa silently handed it over. "Christopher..Judge?" He looked at Teal'c and pointed to the Jaafa. "Okay, you're Christopher, Teal'c." 

"I thought you said I was Christopher." 

"Yeah, Teal'c- I mean, Christopher." Daniel sighed. They had to figure out a way home. Deep down inside, he had his doubts, but he also had a feeling that Jack right now was probably working out a way to save them.... 

* * *

After a few wrong turns, Michael stopped. He noticed a man in uniform heading right towards them. Christopher, trying his best to look very Teal'c like, paused and lifted an eyebrow up at the approaching man, hoping that it was the proper response. 

"Doctor Jackson? Teal'c?" General Hammond looked at the two questioningly. "I thought Colonel O'Neill had told you two to head for the infirmary." 

"Ah-" Michael's mind spun furiously as he thought of what he should do. _What to do, what to do, damn maybe we should- wait!_

"I wanted to write down my um...observations on the planet we've been. It's really interesting." Michael tried to look very excited as if he had a discovery to share. "There were...clear signs of the ah...ah...oh! Of the Goolaka civilization there. It was ...fascinating." Michael smiled at General Hammond, hoping that Davis' character in their reality was the same as in here. 

"Goolaka?" General Hammond repeated. He eyed the two dubiously. Christopher and Michael tried to not look like they had swallowed a canary. 

"A fascinating culture. Originally from the region of the Fiji Islands." Michael babbled on, realizing he was venturing dangerous grounds as he was continuing. He just hoped the general wasn't some sort of closet history buff. "They discovered the first...um...the first..." 

"Fork." Christopher finished for him. He then mentally winced as he realized that maybe that wasn't the best word to end it with. 

"A fork?" General Hammond was beginning to sound like a parrot. 

"Well ahead of their time. Paved the way for modern man, as we know today. Very, very fascinating." Michael continued hastily, as he finished his spur of the moment lecture with what he hoped was the clincher. "I don't feel **that** sick anymore and I really, really-" 

"Doctor Jackson-" General Hammond put out a hand to stop him from continuing. He had perked up at the words that Michael no longer was feeling that sick. "I would rather have Doctor Fraiser check you out first." 

"But-" Michael let his voice trail off like as if he was protesting. Inside, he was cheering. Yes! Now maybe he can take us to the infirmary instead. 

"Come on." General Hammond's voice was stern, but he gently took Michael by the elbow to guide him to the infirmary. Christopher struggled to maintain face as he followed in a slow pace to the infirmary. When the two men in front of him turned the corner, he made a victory sign and mouthed "Yes.". A soldier went by, his eyes wide at the sight. Christopher arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to question his actions. The soldier's eyebrow went up in return but nothing more. Christopher could hear him muttering about alien gestures as the soldier past him. Christopher grinned. This was better than he expected. 

_Now if I got a six-year contract along with this, this wouldn't be too bad._ Christopher refrained from skipping down the rest of the hallway to the infirmary. He paused at the door as the other two went in first. _Goolaka?_ Christopher grinned widely as he wondered where in god's name did Michael pull that name out. He took a deep breath, put on a Teal'c face and marched in. 

* * *

Daniel mumbled another apology as the director gave up and called it a day. He could see Teal'c standing by the cameras, staring fascinated at the grip boys, who were running back and forth wiring the perimeter with cables. 

As an anthropologist, Daniel had thought that if he just observed what a culture was doing, he would be able to fit in without any major impact. So of course, without causing any panic, Daniel had thought it the best way to fit in by observing and then imitating. . 

Dumb, dumb, and dumb. 

Daniel sighed as he mumbled yet another apology and sneezed. The powder that man had dusted his face with so his face wouldn't reflect, was irritating his eyes and nose. He barely had time to say he wasn't feeling well before he let out a thunderous sneeze at the director White. He still didn't know what scene they were doing. He looked at the script again. He just got the script hours ago. How do they memorize all these lines? And what the heck was pan out and close up? 

"That did not go too well, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c observed the director muttering under his breath as he left. 

"Michael," Daniel corrected as his eyes followed the uncanny Doctor Fraiser look-a-like. Someone called her Janet and she looked up. Daniel blushed, realizing he had almost called her doctor before. 

"Michael." Teal'c said it as if he was learning a new language. 

"Hey Mike!" a familiar voice called out. "Amanda and I are heading for the debriefing room to go over our scripts. Come on, we have two scenes to hash out." 

Daniel turned around and his unhappy frown flipped as he saw whom it was. "Jack!" Daniel exclaimed. Then he paled as he realized what he just said. "I mean-" 

"Getting into your role, Michael?" a woman teased from behind. Daniel turned around and nearly shouted when he saw it was Sam. Teal'c tugged his sleeve very slightly and Daniel calmed down. It wasn't Sam. And that wasn't Jack. Daniel sighed, feeling very down. The world seemed familiar, but he never felt so far away as he did now. 

"Hey Mike?" the Jack look-a-like repeated. "You okay?" 

"Y-yeah." Daniel smiled wanly but didn't look to meet the man's eyes. It was too painful to see a friend's eyes in the guise of a stranger. 

Daniel felt an arm drape over his shoulder. "Hey, you okay?" the man looked at the Sam-look-alike. "Amanda maybe we should take Mike here to first aid and-" 

"No!" Daniel nearly shouted, startling the two. "No. I mean- it's okay. I'm just really tired." Daniel didn't have to fake that; he really did feel tired. 

"Poor guy," Amanda said sympathetically. She nodded towards the man. "Rick says that's it for the day. White seems to be having a fit over there for some reason." 

Rick chortled. "And they said we have tantrums." 

Amanda laughed but stopped when she realized the other two were silent. "Chris? Michael? You guys okay?" 

"Very tired," Teal'c repeated what Daniel said before. 

"Uh huh," Rick just said. He shrugged. "Well, let's go over the scripts quickly and then grab a bite to eat. How's that sound, guys?" 

"Sounds great." Daniel responded weakly. He straightened up his back and put on a grin. "Let's go...uh...Rick." 

* * *

The general left Michael and Christopher in the infirmary, confident that his men were in good hands. He looked at Michael for a second, his eyes looking like they were saying "Fork?" before he left. Michael sighed as he saw Jack and Sam at the other end. 

"So far so good." Christopher murmured and Michael nodded. Now if they could just talk to Jack privately so they wouldn't create any attention onto themselves- 

"Daniel!" Jack got up to his feet when he saw the two enter. "Where the hell have you been? When I said to get to the infirmary, I meant today! Not tomorrow!" 

Too late. 

The colonel looked furious, for being kept waiting and for being worried sick when he realized that the two hadn't immediately followed. Jack was about to bolt out of the infirmary to look for them when he saw the general- yes, the general, escort Daniel and Teal'c to the infirmary. That just made his worries doubled. 

"I w-was-" Michael's stammer was real now as Jack's anger lashed out unexpectedly. "I was thinking about writing down my observations-" 

"Observations?" Jack roared. Michael jumped. Christopher stepped forward, already to pull his friend out of the line of fire. "Observations? Daniel, you two came out of the Stargate that had just went screwy for a moment, looking like you've seen hell and back and you're thinking of writing observations?" 

Michael straightened his back and glared at Jack, his patience for this pretense long gone now. "I'm not a kid, for god's sake. If I wanted to write some damn observations then I'm going to write some goddamn-" Michael's voice trailed off as he saw Jack's face turned into the most amazing shade of red. Then Michael felt Christopher stepped forward and before Michael could stop him, he spoke up in defense of his friend. 

"Calm down, Jack. This isn't going to resolve anything. Leave-" Christopher felt Michael kick his shins. He glared downward at his friend then his eyes went wide as he realized that Sam had gasped when he had spoke. 

Teal'c never used contractions. Teal'c never called Jack **Jack**. 

"Just who the hell are you? Daniel, step away from him," Jack gritted out, his hand hovering over the alarm button. 

"Now Richard, let's not go crazy here." Michael waved his hands in front of Jack to calm him down. 

"Richard?" Jack's attention got diverted to Michael now. Christopher groaned aloud. 

"Great Mike, so much for not creating a panic." Christopher scolded him then realized what had slipped out. "Oops." 

"What is going on here?" Sam exclaimed as she stepped forward to Michael. 

"Step away from him, Carter." Jack started to press for the alarm. 

"Wait!" Michael lunged for Jack's hand. Sam tried to grab him but Christopher tackled her while muttering an apology. 

Jack whipped his hand back to avoid injury but quickly kicked Michael's legs out from under him. Michael fell with an oomph. He glared at Jack and then at Christopher, who had Sam in a tight grip. 

"Let Carter go!" Jack demanded. 

"Not until you hear us out," Christopher replied. He winced, not liking what he's doing. Michael didn't look too happy about the way things were going, either. 

"We don't negotiate with terrorists," Carter grated. She glared upward at Christopher. 

"Terrorists?" the two echoed in disbelief. They looked at each other and suddenly burst out laughing. Christopher released Sam and gave her a gentle push towards Jack. Michael was still laughing over the impossible assumption that they were terrorists. 

"W-we're n-not-" Michael couldn't finish. He was holding on to his stomach as he laughed his head off. 

Jack didn't know what to think at this point. First they were a threat, then they took Carter captive, and then they were... **laughing**. 

"What the hell is so goddamn funny?" Jack demanded, still debating over the alarm. 

Christopher, wiping a tear from his eye, helped Michael up to his feet. "We're not terrorists, Jack." He chuckled at the surprised look on Jack's face every time Christopher used the colonel's first name. "We're...actors!" Michael nodded, too winded from his laugh to talk. 

"Actors?" Jack echoed. "Actors?" 

"Or thespians if you want," Michael added as he began to calm down. 

"Not Go'ualds?" Sam asked dubiously as she tugged at the colonel's arm away from the alarm, much to the two's relief. 

"Oh no." Michael rolled his eyes. "One was enough, Amanda. I mean, we had to keep that one under wraps during production. Everyone thought that you were pregnant-" 

"What?" Sam exclaimed. 

"I mean, Amanda," Michael corrected himself. "Not you, Carter. Shit, this is hard to keep track." 

Sam looked at him funny when he called her Carter instead of Sam. "Then-" 

"We're not from around here," Christopher said. 

"Ya think?" Michael arched an eyebrow at Christopher in a perfect Jack imitation. 

Jack shut his mouth. He was about to say that and got beaten to it by this...this Daniel look-a-like. It was beginning to get to him that they weren't telling him anything. 

"We're actors, Jack," Michael explained, noticing the redness was returning on Jack's face. "We were doing a scene from Stargate-" 

"Wait-" Sam interrupted, "You're actors on a show based on our project?" Sam stood up straighter. "How come we haven't heard about this? This is a top secret-" 

"Military operation, we know." Christopher interrupted. "But not where we come from." The man made a face on how weird that had sounded. 

"Where you...come...from?" Jack repeated. His eyebrow went up at Michael, who was grinning at the familiar Jack-ism. 

"Remember There But For The Grace of- no, I guess you wouldn't-" Michael was trying to explain. "Okay, remember when Daniel got lost in P3R233?" 

"When Daniel got sucked into that mirror, sir?" Sam told the colonel. 

Jack cast an irritated look at her that said, "I know, I know." He nodded at Michael and then it dawned to him. "Are you trying to say that you're from an alternate reality? 

"Bingo!" Christopher exclaimed. "Give the man a cigar!" Christopher, forgetting that the man had tried to fight with them before, pounded Jack enthusiastically on the back. Jack glared at Christopher, who took the hint and stopped. "Sorry, Jack." 

"Stop calling me Jack!" Jack grated out. 

"I thought your name was Jack," Christopher said, a bit confused. 

"It is, but it sounds...weird to hear you say it." Jack made a face. "Carter, give me an explanation...in English!" Jack added before Carter could start. 

"Well, remember that power surge when we had returned, sir?" Sam went on at Jack's nod, "Well, what if that place we were in before was like the mirror Daniel had found in P3R233? Maybe when Daniel and Teal'c strayed behind us, they got switched with their...their..." 

"Doppelgangers?" Michael suggested. 

"Yeah!" Sam exclaimed, giving Michael a grateful look. 

"You're good at this, Mike." Christopher elbowed Michael playfully. Michael gave him a victory sign. 

Jack shook his head. This was way too weird. "So Carter, how do we get our Teal'c and my Daniel-" 

"Aw-" Michael grinned, "He said 'my Daniel'!" 

"Sweet." Christopher agreed. "Very smarmy." 

The two men grinned at Jack, which annoyed the colonel to no end. 

"How," Jack repeated, "are we going to get them back, Carter?" 

"Well, we could activate the Stargate again to the same coordinates and hope Daniel and Teal'c, wherever they are, would know to come through their Stargate." 

"Problem!" Michael piped up. 

"What?" Jack ground out. 

"Our...Stargate...doesn't really work." Michael's shoulders slumped as it hit him, too. "Ours is just a prop." 

Christopher's good humor also fell when it hit him, too. "Your friends might not be able to get home and neither can we." 

"Damn," Michael whispered softly, his face downcast. He looked at Jack and the colonel was suddenly struck with the sense that Daniel was looking the very same way, wherever he was. 

"We won't know until we try, now will we?" Jack said, trying to sound confident. "It got you through to our reality before. Why not the opposite?" Jack nodded, thinking of what he could say to the general in order to gain access back to the same coordinates. "Get over to the embarkament room. Give me a sec." With that, Jack strode off determinedly. 

"Wow." Michael murmured, very impressed. "He looks cooler than MacGyver, eh Christopher?" 

"Very." Christopher agreed. 

"MacGyver?" Sam echoed. 

* * *

"You're pulling my leg!" Rick exclaimed. 

Daniel had blurted out who they really were after Rick got suspicious when Daniel called him Jack again for the tenth time. Even the 'getting into character' excuse wasn't working. 

Teal'c's eyebrow darted up and looked down at the ground under the table to see who was pulling Rick's leg. When he saw no one, his eyebrow went up higher. 

"No one is pulling your leg, Anderson." Teal'c informed the actor. 

"Call me Rick." 

"Rick." Teal'c repeated the name, his mouth twitching at the odd syllable. 

"Never mind." Rick winced, "Call me Anderson." Teal'c had said the name like as if the alien had just threatened him. It gave him the willies. 

"You believe me, don't you Jack, I mean, Rick?" Daniel pleaded. His eyes looked right at Rick and then at Amanda. 

Rick looked at Daniel for a moment. Suddenly he burst out laughing. "Great going, Mike! You almost had me going! Always the practical joker!" 

"I'm not Mike!" Daniel tried once more. "And this is really Teal'c!" 

"Right," Amanda chuckled. "Great Michael, we have an alien in our midst. Do you think we have to arrange Christopher's contract around then, Rick? I mean, don't aliens get a higher pay?" 

Rick laughed again. Daniel sighed, unsure of what he could do now. Then he got an idea. 

"Sorry, Teal'c." Daniel muttered and reached over to jerk up Teal'c's T-shirt. The Jaafa nearly started in surprise, but then realized this would most certainty convinced the human actors. 

The Go'uald larvae pulsed within Teal'c's slotted pouch. Rick fell off his chair at the sight of the infant Go'uald lurking out of Teal'c. 

"Holy-" Rick managed only that much before he fell. 

"Oh gross." Amanda made a face, but didn't react more than that. "I don't think props could do a more closer job than that. Ewww." 

"Now do you believe me?" Daniel asked desperately. 

"Okay." Rick waved his hands to tell Daniel to pull the shirt back over it. He made a face. "No way you could fake that, M- I mean Daniel." 

"Can you help us?" Daniel asked Rick, almost believing for a moment that it was Jack who was looking back at him thoughtfully. 

"Our Stargate is a prop, Daniel." Rick reminded Daniel. The actor winced when he saw Daniel's face fell. 

"Yet it got us to this...place." Teal'c pointed out. 

"Hey! Didn't our lights flicker at the point Daniel was transported here?" Amanda realized. "Maybe our guys are trying to get home soon and when the lights flicker again-" 

"We go through your...Stargate!" Daniel finished excitedly. "It may work!" 

The lights suddenly flickered. 

"Teal'c! Come on!" Daniel bolted out of his chair, not wanting to miss his chance to return home. 

"Come on, Amanda!" Rick exclaimed. "This I got to see!" 

The four raced down, past the startled crew and jumped for the Stargate prop. The lights blinked once more and the four were gone. The crew, not realizing what had happened, just griped about the lights and continued with their duties. 

* * *

The darkness lifted for a brief moment when the Stargate flashed. Four figures stumbled out. Then the Stargate blinked and another four came out. When the wormhole disengaged, it was totally dark again. 

"Uh Jack?" 

"Daniel?" 

"Man, it's dark in here." A voice complained. 

"Mike, is that you?" 

"Hey! Rick! What are you doing here?" 

"Well I just, well, me and Amanda just had to see this for ourselves." Rick paused before he continued. "I would have thought I would have seen a lot more than this." 

"It's too dark." Christopher complained. "Where is everyone? Who's who?" 

"I'm over here." 

"Me too!" 

"Over here!" 

"Ditto!" 

Jack's sigh was audible. "Okay, this is not getting us anywhere. Okay, when I call out my team's name, respond. Got it?" 

"Man," Michael commented wickedly. "He sure is bossy. Just like Rick." 

"Hey!" 

"Do you mind?" Jack grated out. He was getting very annoyed. 

"Sorry." 

"Okay. Teal'c?" 

"Over here, O'Neill." Teal'c's voice faded as the Jaafa followed Jack's voice to the colonel. 

"Ah good. Now this is my Teal'c." Jack sounded relieved. "Okay. Daniel?" 

"Here!" two voices chorused. 

"My Daniel!" Jack roared. 

"Aw, he said it again." Michael said, the grin evident from his voice. 

"Now cut that out!" Jack demanded. 

"Don't have a cow, man." Michael said, mimicking a cartoon character's voice. Rick chuckled in the background. 

Jack shouted once more. "Will you stop that?" 

"Okay, okay. Sorry." 

"Daniel?" Jack called out. 

"Um...right here, Jack." Daniel's voice came from right behind Jack. 

"Shit!" Jack cursed. "Don't do that!" 

"Now why can't I say that?" Rick complained. 

"Because ShowTime would have to change our PG-13 to PG then." Amanda reminded her friend lightly. 

"It is better to curse than not to curse at all." Michael intoned dramatically, altering a Shakespeare quote to his favor. 

"Ah! Shakespeare! That's our Michael." 

"Daniel, get to the DHD and get them home. We'll follow afterwards and dial again." Jack instructed. 

Michael's excited voice came through. "Oh, I want to see this. Where is it?' 

"It should be in front of you." Daniel said as he made his way over. He was intrigued with the prospect of seeing his double. "Just wave your hands around. You should feel it-" 

"Hey!" Sam and Amanda's indignant voices shouted out. 

"Oops! Sorry!" the two men chorused. 

After a few moments, the actors were sent through. The SG1 team, finally united, waited for the flickering effect to begin so they could return home. 

"So Daniel." Jack remarked as they waited. "Anything interesting over there we should know about?" 

"Daniel Jackson is a lord." Teal'c said. 

"What?" Sam asked. 

"I don't know." Jack could hear the shrug in Daniel's voice. "The whole I was there, I kept hearing some calling me Lord of the Internet or something. But then they laugh." Daniel sounded very puzzled. 

The Stargate flickered. 

"Okay kids." Jack said, "Daniel, you can tell me all about it later. Let's go home." 

Following the light, the team went through, back to their reality. Almost immediately, the wormhole was disengaged. It was dark again. 

* * *

After a few moments, a voice spoke up. 

"Are they gone yet?" 

"I think so, Janet." 

"Man, he was cute." 

"Which one?" 

"Both." Two female voices chorused. 

"That was a lot of fun, Anna. Can we do it again?" 

"Sssssure. I'm sure the gang wouldn't mind." 

"Man, do I feel sorry for those people." 

"Oh please, David. You wanted to have them have a fight before convincing Jack about who they were." 

"It would have only been a little fight." 

"Four cast members and the entire base?" Janet's voice piped up. "Little?" 

"Hey!" Gary suddenly said. "It's too dark here! Where's the lights?" 

"Lights?" Anna echoed. "Oops!" 

"Oops? Oops!" Gary repeated. "What do ya mean...oops!" 

"Forgot to include that in the fic!" Anna yelped. "Sorry." 

Four voices groaned in the darkness as they faced the prospect of trying to find their way out of this mess. 

The End =)

  


* * *

>   
> © 1998 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television,   
> Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd.   
> Partnership.  
> The persons mentioned such as Richard Dean Anderson, Michael Shanks,  
> Amanda Tapping and Christopher Judge are for entertainment purposes only.  
> Their depiction here, by all terms, should not be regard as accurate to  
> the real persons.  
> This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment.   
> All other characters, the story idea and the story itself   
> are the sole property of the author.   
> 

* * *

  


##### This was inspired after the online Michael Shanks chat by UltimateTV. Janet and David mused on the weird idea of what if parallel worlds collide? Real verus Fictatious? This is decided to everyone in the list group StargateFan and to Bastet and Steph! (Hey you guys!) They're humor and the list group's wicked sense of "evil" writing really inspired us all to keep going. 

* * *

  



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